[a prayer for the week.]

dear lord,

i know we don't speak much.

but god bless him. and god bless everyone from home.

your prodigal son
-matthew

["tell me and i'll forget, show me and i'll remember, involve me and i'll understand" -- confucius]

Within only a few months, and I never thought I’d be chair of a National organization. With that being said, I was told, as chair, that I couldn’t pretty much do…whatever the hell I want. So I propose a few decrees. A few motions if you will.

Motion #1

I motion to communicate, To conversate. (I know that's not a real word) Cause whether you like it or not, someone will always disagree with you. And that’s a good thing.

Motion #2

I motion to think outside the balikbayan box, break out of my shell, burst of out of the bubble. Cause there’s only so much this moment can give you. Dare to be different. Believe me...it works.

And Motion #3

Okay, I just don’t think the name "FIND" is working. It’s not sticking with you guys is it? I’m a marketing major, and after doing some marketing research I’ve come up with a name that would sell.

The Philippine American Networking Association.

All joking aside, FIND, Inc. 2008 Fall Dialogue is slowly approaching. It's a less than a month away. This fall, our Dialogue theme will be Magsalita...."to speak". We'll take our delegates through activities centered around themes of communication.

With that being said, I think communication is like...economics. Yes, economics. Despite the recent "recession", I believe communication is our greatest commodity. It’s priceless. Like money, communication is our medium of exchange. It can act as a platform for information, opinions, and ideas to get across. Communication is also our unit of account, from recalling memories, teaching lessons learned, to the infamous “That’s what she said.” Lastly, communication is our store of value. Although there is value on the surface, a face-value, we must find something deeper in what is being said, something we can invest in.

Look for it. Listen for it.

There’s a million things I can tell you to expect from this Dialogue, but who am I to spoil it for you? This may sound cliche, but you'll get what you put into this weekend. Make it truly and uniquely…for you. So by the time you begin this fateful Dialogue weekend, remember that this is YOUR dialogue.

Own it, and make it yours.

["you can take your job seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously"- Mike]

should've seen it coming. i loved this because of the people in it. the friends i've made and the memories... i'll probably regret. i promised myself i wouldn't put myself through this.

its hard to tell someone how inadequate they are. especially in formal protocol. especially when someone is typing every word you say. i guess everything happens for a reason, right?

i don't want to do it.

i won't do it.

miscommunication is our society's achilles heel. its our downfall. people just need to learn to buckle their pride and work things out.

i'm still in the process of figuring out what in the world i want. i'm a student, a musician, a chair of a national organization, an intern for an institutional investor company, and a "kuya mom" (quite the resume, huh?). all this time i've been taking care of a national conference, a broken group of friends, my own finances, and a teenage girl (on occasion).

looking at everything, i realized my life consists of taking care of other people..

"but nothing's been done yet."

"who else is gonna do it?"

"you better not leave me too, asshole."

"why don't i see you anymore?"

but then i realized..who the hell takes care of me?

that's it. maybe i just really need someone right now. hey, maybe i'm selfish. i'll be the first to admit it. either way, i feel like i'm missing something. either way... i think i'm burnt out.

i go into oral surgery in about 5 hours. man, i can't wait for the vicodin.

[cultureshock]

...an understatement.

It's been a week since I've gotten back. Tokyo, NYC, Arnel Pineda, then VA Beach..all in one week.

Fuck.

Where do I get all this energy from?

Never thought four weeks would ever get to me so much. Not so much the trip , but just getting back to the swing of things. I need to prioritize. I put too much on my plate that means little or nothing to me. Music means the world to me. My family…my friends…they mean the world to me.

Living in Tokyo, you realize that you’re small. You’re a small part of this world. A tiny spec amidst trains packed full of salarymen, harjuku girls, and gaijins. There’s so much more to this. So much more to me. There’s an even bigger world out there that I haven’t even grasped..

…yet.

Whether people throw the world away, move on to better things, or move halfway across the world, I feel like the rug keeps being swept from under me. Looking back, the past two years has shaped me to become a better person in the end. A good friend of mine told me I've grown up so much this year...He's probably right.

I’ve been betrayed. I’ve been taken in. But most importantly, I’ve been loved.

...I wouldn't have it any other way.

Someone once told me to surround myself with good things. “Things that are just for you and things that make you feel good.” I realized how good it feels to catch up with old friends again.

Nostalgia never felt so warm.

This is all probably the jetlag talking...Goodnight.
-Matt

["come to japan and learn more about yourself." -Professor Robert Ballon]

if there's one thing i've taken from my japanese management class, its just that. i think there's a small part of me that needs to travel. its a chance for me to get away. a chance for me to grow up. the polite silence of the subways can sure give you time to contemplate...lots of time.

it's been almost two weeks and everything's gone by so fast, yet the days seem like they're never going to end. i've learned to not only play hard, but work hard. days kept busy with the robot-esque schedule of... class, sightseeing, homework, and finally that little remainder of time to check out the city.

thank god for arcades and shabu shabu.

believe it or not, i feel pretty settled in now. from shibuya, shinjuku, to good old aoyama-itchome...i've learned the subway lines faster than the trains in manhattan. laundry's a breeze. and i've gotten accustomed to a diet of chu-his, mos burger and bento boxes.

i gotta live up these next couple weeks as if my life depended on it....maybe it does.

-matt

[jaPANA]

greetings,

its been a good day and a half since we arrived. where do i start...

it was a good 18 hour plane ride, 2 hour bus ride, and 10 minute taxi to the hotel. since then we've been pretty out and about. i don't speak a lick of the language but i got chris and mike to basically lead the way.

i don't think i ever walked so much in my life until today. went by ruppungi, akehabarra, and probably gonna drop by shabuya tonight.

i completely misspelled everything above by the way.

fuck it, i'm a tourist

....that's pretty much the theme of this whole trip.

until next time.
-matt

[chelsea pier]

way past due, i know...

the company i've been working for this summer recently had an outing at chelsea piers in manhattan. all expenses covered for the sports club...i faired pretty well at most of the sports. got my ass handed to me in boxing though...

(reenactment)

the company hired a sailing company to take us around the hudson. passed by newport and the
statue of liberty.

for the past few months i've been working as a marketing and customer service rep for ISI Emerging Markets. we handle internet and software based products delivering real-time news, statistcs, and hard-to-get information.

the 9 to 5 grind has actually been treating me well. i've learned a lot in such a short amount of time. and i'm glad to be on board for the years to come.

and hey, i got my own cubicle.

these people are taking me places...literally

[BOSTON]

a spontaneous trip up north became a pretty memorable 4th of july.

the drive up wasn't that bad. spent a breezy 4 hours on a greyhound bus listening to john-flor on repeat. way to pass the time huh?

i had no one else to be unnecessarily belligerent with for the first time in awhile. special thanks to lexi for the food, hospitality, and putting up with me for a good 36 hours.

here are some revelations from this past weekend...

i am officially lexi's straight gay-best-friend. (damn you tight pants)

sig ro brothers aren't that bad.

there are a lot of asians in boston.

rooftops.

the T is probably the most comprehensible means of transportation i've ever seen.

i am terrible at poker.

northeastern is to the celtics, as seton hall is to the lakers...totally owned.

babies.

there are a lot of gays on the style network.

...we watched the style network.

where's joe garcia?

good times, friend. good times.

[and so it is...]

the countdown to japan begins

7*24*08

take..me..to..tokyo